Emotions You May Be Experiencing

It’s normal to go through a variety of emotions when dealing with your child’s abuse. These feelings are part of the process, and they are valid.

Shock. You may be shocked because you didn’t know the abuse was happening or because someone else was the first your child disclosed it to. For some, the shock stems from trusting the person accused. No matter the reason, shock is a common and understandable reaction.

Denial. It can be hard to accept that such a terrible thing has happened to your child. You may even struggle to believe that someone you know could harm them. Denial is a normal defense mechanism.

Anger. You might feel angry at yourself for not knowing, angry at the person who harmed your child, or even angry with your child for not telling you sooner. These feelings are natural, but finding someone to talk to, like a friend or counselor, can help you process them.

Betrayal. If the offender who harmed your child was someone you trusted, feelings of betrayal can be intense. It’s hard for a parent to lose their spouse, partner, or friend because they may have abused their child. Take time to mourn the loss of that person.

Guilt. Many caregivers feel guilty or question their ability to protect their children. Please know that this is not your fault. By keeping your child safe from the offender now, you are already doing what is best for them.

Helplessness. Both caregivers and children often share these feelings of helplessness. Remember, you are not alone. By seeking support, you are already taking a significant step toward healing.

Resurfacing trauma from your own past. If you experienced abuse as a child, your child’s disclosure may bring up old wounds. Know that what happened to you was not your fault, and your child’s abuse is not a result of your own.